Prayer, Sacrifice
by MarisolM
Summary: Katara's memories of the Fire Nation raid unfold as she remembers the last moments with her mother. OneShot.


_In a swift move, she saw her mother rip the choker off her neck, and gently place it onto her own little trembling palm..._

Katara held her eyes closed, walking out towards the sea as she felt her stomach get heavier and heavier from the urge to cry. The smooth blue pendant eased her anguish as she placed her fingertips onto it, almost like clockwork as she remembered those last moments.

_Since the moment they had both broken into a fierce run, towards the snowy hills, the girl noticed how her mother's forehead wrinkled frighteningly, and she stared at them with immense curiosity. The girl could still hear the fireblows coming from demonic red creatures, and her father's voice shouting in painful defense along with all the men... young children like herself screaming and crying... while the unfamiliar flakes of dark ash continued to fall from the sky. _

_Her hands clenched tightly, and her mouth was quivering as she managed to say 'Mom, what... what did I do?'_ _as they both continued to run pacefully with their thick boots. She bit her lip to stop it from shaking, waiting for her mother's reply._

Katara had kept a massaging hand to her aching temples all evening, and Sokka could tell that her mind was aching even back while the group had flown on Appa... but he did not question her as she quietly slipped away as soon as they had landed and begun to set up camp.

"Sokka... I'm... I'll go fetch the water," was her faint excuse to him. Sokka just nodded with assurance to her, and did not raise a brow, nor ask her if something was wrong, because he realized exactly which day it was... and how much she needed to be alone for it.

"_Nothing, sweetheart," her mother caressed the little hand that held hers tightly, struggling to look at her child in those resembling blue eyes as their boots took them far from the war-torn village. "You just got... very angry..." The noise of fireballs and enraged shouting pierced the silence between them, and the girl knew that her mother was not telling her everything._

_Her mother was not telling her why Fire Nation demons had decided to destroy her brother's handmade watchtower of snow... with her brother still inside it. She was not telling her why all of a sudden there were flakes of ash falling into their homeland, claiming their white paradise of a home for these Fire Nation demons. _

_Moreover... she was refusing to tell her why her little eight-year-old body had reacted so suddenly_ _to a Fire Nation demon, as he...it... wrapped chains around her best friend, Lihrek, and dragged his scrawny limbs on the ground towards the entrance of their metallic ship. The thought of losing him... of perhaps never sharing a single kiss with him... had awakened the girl's own inner spirit with a sudden snow drift that covered half a dozen Fire demons to their waists._

_It was then when the raid grew wild, among the commotion of shouts and screaming of 'WHO DID THIS!?' when a Fire Demon pointed at her mother, and she quickly grabbed her daughter's hand and fled to the hills of snow... while her father stayed behind to hold the Demon off._

The girl did not pretend to notice the concerned gaze in Aang's silver eyes, as he momentarily lowered his arms and stopped Earthbending some rocks for a campfire. Any other day, she would have kindly explained it, but her mind was sinking into the night sky, looking aimlessly towards the deep woods that encased the open creek.

Aang's mouth opened slightly, as if wanting to say something to Sokka, but the young man looked away in grief, silently telling him to get back to his Earthbending training. Toph, however, kept to herself as she continued to lift the rocks, aware of the slow heartbeat that was coming from the Waterbender... but knowing that if Katara wanted to explain anything, she would do so in her own time.

Katara carefully slipped her shoes off with her toes, and with all of her calm demeanor, she brought her ankles into the sea and let the coldness of the water clear her mind. One hand was still touching the smooth stone of her necklace, but she then brought both of her hands outward... as if her palms were inviting the tranquil aura of the moonlight.

It was a Waterbender's prayer... the ceremonial pose she had learned from Gran Gran herself as a way of thanking the Moon Spirit for the passing of another year in one's life. Ironic, actually how it was meant to be a celebration... the girl's head tilted towards the sky to prevent herself from breaking down into a cry.

Every year, she asked for forgiveness.

She remembered how she couldn't understand the magnitude of her mistake, then, seeing her family and closest friends tear themselves apart in the gusts of rage from red-coated foreigners. All she could register was how her mother dragged her little arm forward, to hills of filthy snow... away from the noise and commotion. Katara could not fathom how her mother strongly refused to look back, to even acknowledge the screaming, and deadly fire blasts behind them.

_The girl watched with both fascination and fear as her mother stopped running, and seemed to place all of her might into one final task in those last few minutes: digging a small hole in the snow... small enough for a child and nobody else._ _Her mouth trembled from the cold and from the idea of being alone in an icy cave, but Katara dared to say something._

"_I'm... I'm not going..." The girl cried reluctantly, her arms grasping her mother's waist like a belt frozen in place._

_Her mother shut her eyes tightly as the little arms hugged her, but she kept digging with determination, her panting breath showing the faint amount of exhaustion. She did not even have time to think, it seemed, feeling the strong ashes fall onto her scalp, telling her that time no longer existed. Fire Nation soldiers would be on their trail at any moment... and the woman knew what she had to do._

_Not having the strength to say it out loud, the woman pulled the girl out of her clinging grasp, attempting to shove her into the small hole in the snow. Her eyes were still shut... holding back dreadful tears that marked an abandonment she was performing._

_But she let the screams and struggles from her child overtake her spirit from the inside out, sadly taking in the fact that before anything else... she was a mother. And she was protecting her young._

Katara felt the tiny ripples of the water against her ankles, hitting against her skin lightly as the evening tide became more present. Her face let the calm wind brush peacefully to her frowning forehead, and the girl stirred as she felt her tribal hairloops move with the air's persuasion. She was beginning to frown from such concentration, defeating the purpose of her meditation... but she didn't care. Her hands practically broke into tiny sweat from small clenches as she held them up to the sky.

This was not a prayer of celebration... but rather, for a memory of something that she longed to forget with every fiber of her being. So much, that the girl could feel knots forming in her stomach as she remembered the last few words from her mother.

"_Happy Birthday, sweetheart," the woman hid the trembling sadness in her voice as she enclosed the necklace tightly into her little girl's palm. A reluctant set of tears were forming in her eyes, and the little girl had never seen her mother so beaten in pain. "Stay hidden... I need to find your brother... PROMISE me you will stay in the snow."_

"_No! You're lying..." the girl could hear it from her mother's trembling voice, and how she could not even meet her daughter's worried eyes. All the woman did to hide the strain was shove her daughter more into the snow hole. "I'm... I'm not leaving you," the girl sniffled angrily._

"_Katara... STAY HIDDEN, please!" The woman's eyes caught the raising of her voice by surprise, looking more intensely to her little girl. It frightened both of them. "I'm going to... to talk to them... I'll tell them it was an accident..." _

_And just before she could say anything further... voices of Fire Nation demons crept up behind her... and the woman quickly began to cover the entrance to the hole. _

_The little girl whimpered as she saw the fear in her mothers eyes, her arms working diligently to hide her small body in the snow. Her voice suddenly seemed to lose power, but her eyes gazed at her mother like a fallen angel... tears brewing in her tranquil eyes._

"_YOU, WATER-PEASANT..." the girl heard a man's voice say, the volume getting closer and closer to her mother's form... "WHY DID YOU FLEE FROM US?"_

_Her mother's eyes were looking elsewhere, pretending to not acknowledge a living body under the snow as a pair of Fire Nation demons hiked up the hills to catch her. Katara's little eyes peered through the smallest gap in the snow... and even then she could see the demonic masks that were questioning her mother so harshly._

"_DID YOU CREATE THAT AVALANCHE?" The other man's voice suddenly erupted at the woman... grabbing a hold of her arm violently... as if dragging her forward, back to the sounds of screaming and fireballs. _

_Katara's form lost its ability to breathe as she watched, getting herself ready to attack foolishly... but as if her mother had known her intention... the same pair of eyes glanced into the snow. They told her to stay hidden at all costs. Because she said so._

_As the image of her mother being dragged away chiseled itself into the young girl's mind, all that she could do was clutch the necklace still in her hand, pleading for its warmth to keep her long into that dreadful, lonely night in the snow._

"Mom... I'm...I'm sorry." Katara sniffled then, letting small tears stream chillingly along the edges of her nose, her form still implanted in the water. Even at that young age, she had understood what her mother had done that night to protect her... and it still haunted her.

As the memories drowned themselves into her mind, releasing all the present sounds and senses practically into the water that surrounded her... Katara could no longer hold back the knots in her stomach... as they were gradually creeping up to her throat. All the blood in her legs seemed to disappear and weaken her calm stance, and as the girl collapsed fully into the shallow water... her sobs took a life of their own.

This was her birthday, and the only thing she longed from the Moon Spirit was forgiveness. Of regret that she had so much passion for becoming a Waterbender... and surrendering that passion to the stars, willingly... if it meant that she could see her mother again.

_She knew it would take many years before she could forgive herself... before she could be free from this inner violence that seemed to always be in her passionate spirit... one that had caused her mother to make the ultimate sacrifice._

_What Katara did not know was if she would ever be able to love someone else that much again._

_If she ever deserved it._


End file.
